What I learnt from The Apprentice: – it’s a bunch of 5 year olds running around
We are big fans of The Apprenticein our house. Not necessarily because the contestants are so amazing… more because there is so much discussion on what they are doing, how they are doing it and yes, we in full judgement mode!! It’s TV!
It probably takes us longer to watch each episode as we stop the programme, make some comment like OMG why are they doing that, can they not see that that is completely wrong or from the comfort of our armchair, exclaim how we could be so much better if we were on the programme (easier said than done I imagine!).
What Motivates People? It’s all about programming!
Last week, they did a review of the final five candidates in the process. This gave some background on their working and personal lives, what is motivating them to go onto a show like The Apprentice and drives them in their business.
I’m always interested in understanding where people are coming from and why they do things that they do.
For me, two people in particular stood out during this review.
We revert to our 5 year old self when we are under pressure
James, is a 26 year old man, and he talked about how his father’s business failure has motivated him. His father went from owning a house with 9 bedrooms to living in a caravan park when his business failed. All of this happened before James was born.
Now, his father’s fortunes have risen since then, although not to the heady heights of a nine room house. And he never went into business again.
When talking about his business, James said that what motivates him in his working life is that he wants to buy his father all the things that he used to be able to afford.
James obviously grew up listening to the narrative of how his father had been so successful and lost it all.
This is something that James wants to change so that his father can be more comfortable and enjoy some of the luxuries life has to offer (he had recently sent him on a luxury cruise on the Nile or somewhere equally exotic).
James gets on well with people and is able to communicate what he wants to do and lead people.
While you may not agree with his motivation (why isn’t he just doing it for himself, why does he feel responsible for his father?), the programming that he has taken on is to a certain extent useful and it is not at the exclusion of being aware of how to get on with other people.
James has been successful and popular throughout the process.
Elizabeth, however, is another story completely.
A tall girl with a larger than life personality, she manages to annoy pretty much everyone during the tasks. It’s her way or the highway. She comes across as a bit of a control freak when working on a project.
During the interview into her background, she talked about how she was born in Australia and she and her mother had to leave a very bad situation – so bad that they left Australia and moved the UK.
Not only as a child was she dealing with the stress of escaping whatever situation she had been living in, but she arrived in the UK as a 6 foot tall girl with an Australian accent, so she would have stuck out like a sore thumb.
Her approach in ‘The Apprentice’ tasks seems to be trying to control everything.
Now, I have never met Elizabeth and don’t know the full story but I’m guessing that this desire for control may have come from the chaos in her childhood. I see this all the time through my work with clients.
So, she learnt (maybe) at a very young age, that in order to feel safe, she has to control everything. And this may have been useful when she was living in whatever chaotic situation she was in, and was how she survived, how she got through the trauma of whatever was going on in her life at the time.
But this programming is really no longer useful. When she is under pressure, she annoys and alienates people because she is so strong in pushing things to be done her way.
So, you can see in both instances, you have someone’s younger 5 year old self (or whatever age), running she show. In one case, it is useful, and in the other case, not so much.
What Can You Do About Negative Programming?
I don’t know how many times people have said to me ‘I can’t believe that my 5 year old self is still running the show!’
And that is the reality. When we are really pressure, that is when our worst programming comes out.
When someone comes to me with a behaviour or belief that they want to change, what we want to do first of all is all is to figure out where this behaviour/belief comes from.
Using tapping EFT, we work to heal this part of them so they no longer need to act this way.
So, if you have a behaviour, be it being a perfectionist or control freak or whatever, what you can you do about it?
- You could join The Apprentice! Getting involved in the tasks with other people will definitely force you to change if you want to succeed.
On a personal level and in how she deals with people, you can see that Elizabeth has made significant changes for the better.
Of course, the option of The Apprentice is only available to a small number of people. You could then get involved in some kind of team activity, project or sport.
By working with other people, you would iron out some of those behaviours that you want to change.
- Try to heal the part of you…. And how do you do this? Guess!
Guessing is very under-rated but it is a great way of bypassing your unconscious mind and find out what is really going on.
For example, if there was someone who had your type of behaviour, if you were to guess, what do you think might have happened to make them take on this behaviour?
Trust that whatever answer comes up, that that is the one that you need to work on.
Then ask yourself, when did that happen to me? And what would I have needed in the situation to feel better and to move through the emotions of whatever happened.
You could do something as simple as holding your younger self, talking to them or writing them a letter.
- Talk to a professional to explore this further.
We all need help sometimes to process whatever is going on and to make changes in our lives. And sometimes it is just too big to do on our own.
We won’t ask ourselves the right questions, will avoid certain things and may not be able to give ourselves the support we need to guide us through this.
We are all the products of our childhood, and whatever has happened, good and bad. Why not choose to use the good bits?
If you have been affected by any of the issues that have been included in this article (e..g. a behaviour or belief that you would like to change), and would like to see how tapping/meditation/energy work could help you, please contact me on [email protected] or on 00353 87 629 7207. We could have a 15 minute clarity call to have a chat to see what might work for you. Also, if you have any comments or any suggestions on what I have written, I would love to hear from you.
Photo of children playing by Brandon Morgan https://unsplash.com/@littleppl85