Now I don’t spend all my time going to networking events, but I do attend a couple each month.

As I work on my own in that I don’t have colleagues as such, it is a great way to connect with people, to hear about what everyone is doing and maybe I help someone or someone helps me. There is always a good exchange of ideas.

Anyway, a while ago, I was at yet another event. The guest speaker was a sales trainer and he talked about having passion for what you do.

From my own experience, it certainly makes it much easier when you do have passion for what you do, love your work and really believe in what you are doing.

What I am doing now is so much easier because my heart is 100% in it.

It doesn’t mean that I don’t have my challenges. I have many, but there is a sense for me that I am heading in the right direction (with many detours along the way!).

Anyway, back to the networking event. The speaker asked the question to the room ‘in your field, how many of you think that you are in the top 10% of what you do?’ My hand went straight up as I know I am very good at what I do and get great results.

I was pleased that I was quite comfortable doing this and was happy to say this in front of other people. Definitely, I can see that I have come a long way.

And it got me thinking about what I went through recently in terms of my pricing, as I had recently put them up.

Before I put up my prices, I dithered a bit and thought can I really do this? In my heart, I knew it was the right thing to do, but a little voice nagged me ‘am I good enough, do I deserve this, can I really put up my prices?’

Loads of opportunities to explore here:

Am I good enough?

Out of 10 I thought, yes I definitely am. 100% – I believe that I am good enough. I know that I am great at what I do, get amazing results and give great value.

Do I deserve this?

Now that was a much more interesting question. Hmmm! This definitely made me take a big breath in. Rats! I thought. I can’t believe that this is coming up!

What is this all about? Definitely felt a bit of fear, sadness and tapped on that and specific events. And also what came up very loud and clear, was a fear of outshining other people.

When I am giving a talk, or training, I take the lead and I am an extrovert in these situations. And I am comfortable with that.

But I don’t feel that I have to be ‘on’ all the time, and am happy for others to take the limelight.

But not wanting to outshine people? This is one of those pesky unconscious beliefs that was lurking in the background. Grrr!

Did you know that 95% of what we do is unconscious and only 5% is conscious. So, if something feels unsafe at an unconscious level, there can be a lot of self sabotage going on without you knowing it!

So consciously I might want something but as the quote above says :

‘Self sabotage is when we say we want something and then go about making sure it doesn’t happen’.

And the thing about it is, most of the time we don’t even realise that we are doing it. It’s all going on in the unconscious mind.

Unconscious beliefs can be the reason why you may sabotage yourself in relationships, business, weight etc.

Thankfully, this is exactly where you can use EFT Tapping.

And I have enough self-awareness to know where my not wanting to outshine people came from.

When I was young, I always wanted to stay in the background, go unnoticed and not rock the boat. So this is a bit of a hangover left over from that time (and again, I take full responsibility for taking on this behaviour).

So, I tapped on this not wanting to outshine people and delved a little deeper and it was the fear of making others feel small, and also feeling sad that others may feel bad about themselves.

I tapped on each of these separately, and in relation to outshining people, I came to the clarity point that it was my time. Others have had their moment in the spotlight or may have it at another time. Me having my time in no way takes away from them, or their potential to shine.

And me feeling sad because others feel bad about when they see how I am doing? Again, through tapping I came to the point of clarity, that actually me feeling sad for others is very disempowering for them.

It is me saying that you are never going to achieve your potential, or get to where you want to be. You are always going to be looking at others and feeling sad.

Isn’t it much more empowering for myself and others to feel good about what I do, happy for my success so that I can encourage others to take the leap and do and be who they want to be?

And that is what I want to do.

It brought me in mind of the lovely Marianne Williamson quote (often wrongly attributed to Nelson Mandela) which I tapped along to. Why don’t you tap along to this also, and see if there are any points of resistance, aha moments, or other points of clarity:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Clearing all of my fears made me feel much more congruent about my work, prices and the value I give.

So, the final question was, can I really put up my prices?

There would have been a time when I would have nearly whispered and apologised for charging any money at all!

I was delighted that anyone would want to work with me at all (really, you want to work with me?)! It was as if I was nearly saying – I feel really bad but would you mind actually paying me for me working with you?

Yes I can put up my prices! And for people contacting me, I am very comfortable talking about how much I charge. It is not about how much I charge but the incredibly great value that I give, and the results that I get.

So, if any of this resonated with you, or maybe if you are wondering if there are any unconscious beliefs preventing you for achieving what you want to achieve, or if you keep sabotaging yourself click on the link below to book a 15 minute clarity call.

I look forward to talking to you!

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