Looking After Yourself

I was reading an article from Anita Moorjani recently.

Anita was talking about self-care and loving and looking after yourself as if your life depended on it (she says that your life does depend on it!).

She talks about not saying yes when you mean no (how many times have we all done this?), and not acting from a place of fear.

We constantly have an internal dialogue going on….

What will happen if I say no?

Will it be the end of the world?  (probably not).

Will that person hate me? (maybe – but then if you are looking after yourself and this person doesn’t like it…. well, maybe you have to think a little bit more about the balance in your relationship).

Will I get this opportunity again (who knows?) but for me, I think that I have to trust that looking after yourself is always the right answer.

It’s about doing something because you want to do it, because it is right for you, and when you make YOU and looking after yourself the main priority, the choice becomes very clear.

Marianne Williamson says that with every action you are either going towards love or fear.  When you put it like that, it makes it very simple, and can easily be applied to pretty much every situation in your life.

And the more you go towards fear (omg, if I don’t do this, then something awful will happen etc etc), the more this chips away at you – at your self-worth, confidence and self-esteem.

Because the more you end of doing things because it is ‘expected’ of you, rather than what is right for you, you are saying no to yourself and yes to someone else.

And if you act like this, is it any wonder that you are lacking in confidence, feel that you don’t deserve or feel that you are not good enough?

A while back, an upsetting situation arose with someone I know very well.  It’s not my story to tell so I won’t share details, but it was quite shocking and grim.  It brought up all sorts of stuff for me, painful memories, shock, sadness, feeling powerless etc so a ­lot going on.

Someone suggested to me that I could do a distance healing, but I thought, what about me?  What about healing me first?

Too often, people who are carers or are working in the ‘caring’ profession, completely forget about looking after themselves.

So, I took some time out and took some time to look after myself, got the support I needed, knowing that my involvement was not urgent, and that it could wait until I had come to better terms with the situation.  That’s what I did.

I took my time, got my head together and sorted through my emotions.

And Tapping has been enormously helpful for me in processing my emotions and moving through them.

Once I had sorted my own head out, I was able to go into the situation with a completely different attitude and head space, and it allowed me to act from a true place of compassion.

And how can you truly have compassion for others if you don’t have compassion for yourself first?

When you make a decision based on fear, it frequently isn’t the best decision.

So, if you are really serious about improving your self-esteem, self-worth and confidence, try saying yes to yourself first.

When you are confronted with a situation, ask yourself the question, is this what I really want to do?  Am I going towards love (for myself) or fear?  What would I do if I really wanted to really love and look after myself?

Maybe start with something small, and gradually build up to the bigger things and see your confidence grow.

Doing it from a place of love for yourself and looking after yourself first might be something for you to consider.

If you have been affected by any of the issues that have been included in this article (not looking after yourself, lack of confidence, low self esteem, my needs are not important, childhood issues…) and would like to see how tapping/meditation/energy work could help you, please contact me on info@grainnemoneill.com or on 00353 87 629 7207.  We can have a chat to see what might work for you.

Photos from unsplash.com @diegoph, @dakotacorbin

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