You would have to have had your head in the sand not to see what is going on with Harry and Meghan.
Having watched them over the last few years since they have been together, and especially seeing how Harry has reacted since the birth of his son, I am guessing that Harry is still suffering the effects of the terrible trauma that he had to go through with the death of his mother.
Now, I’m not minimising how difficult it must be to be in the public glare all of the time, but I do know, that if you haven’t fully dealt with the effects of trauma from your past, then it is not the adult you, who is reacting.
What is happening is that the old wounds, which have never been fully healed, keep getting opened again and again – and in Harry’s case, it may be his 12-year-old self reacting to circumstances.
I see this all the time with the work that I do with people. And it doesn’t have to be a trauma with a capital ‘T’.
Our lives can be made up of mini traumas.
Take for example, people who have anxiety, difficulties speaking up for themselves, putting themselves forward etc – very often, when we start to do a bit of digging around we find events from the past which they hadn’t realised were still affecting them.
One of the most common things I see is something that may have happened in school – it may have been the teacher saying something to them, or the reactions from their classmates (laughing at them).
As an adult, you might think that it isn’t a big deal, but to a 5-year-old, it really is the end of the world.
And when this old wound gets triggered, it is not the adult who reacts, but their much younger self and can affect them in all sorts of ways.
Once the effects of the trauma have been cleared, a very common response from people is ‘I can’t believe that my 5-year-old self was running the show’, and that is the truth of the matter.
So, is your 5 year old self still running the show?
How Do You Know If There Are Old Wounds To Be Healed?
- Your reaction to something that happens is quite extreme and you think it may be out of proportion to what has happened
- You don’t feel strong on the inside – Buddha talks about being strong like a mountain. My interpretation of what he said is that you feel strong so that no matter what happens, you are not blown every which way, or if you are thrown off guard, that you can come back to centre easily enough. How quickly do you come back to centre?
- Feeling anxious. It is normal to feel stressed and anxious from time to time but if you are constantly on high alert, then that is a difficult way to live. I always say to people, that you didn’t come into the world feeling anxious all the time, so something has happened to make you feel like this, and it is about getting to the root of the problem.
- Addictions of any sort whether it be chocolate, alcohol, cigarettes etc. Do you really want the chocolate, or do you want to change the way you feel?
- Always worrying about the future and not feeling safe?
If any of these resonate with you, well then maybe it is time to do something to heal these wounds, in whatever way works for you.
The benefits will include feeling more in control, feeling stronger and being in the present moment.
What’s not to love?