Overcoming Feeling Awkward
People often ask me, how does EFT/tapping work, and is it practical.
The following story shows you how I put tapping to good use recently for myself.
I went to a women’s networking event a couple of weeks ago. It was organised by a woman’s magazine, and definitely had a higher profile, even if only in terms of the dress code!
There were 3 speakers, and the 3rd talk was from a man, and from the moment he stood up, you knew that that he was in trouble. It was a large group (about 200 people – all women), and he just dried up, you could see he was not relaxed, and wasn’t getting the reaction from audience that he wanted to.
I really felt for him, as I know I’ve been in situations where I’ve given a talk and had zero response from the audience. And it doesn’t feel good.
After the talk, I went up to him and told him that my heart went out to him as I have been in situations like that. And what he said to me was very interesting. He said ‘this was a step-up for me’. (I presume he meant being invited by a national magazine to talk in front of such a large audience).
We had a brief chat and off I went on my merry way, with my goody bag under my arm.
And I was thinking to myself afterwards, I could have done a better job than he did, I could have been up there giving a talk, and then it dawned on me:
I didn’t even want to put my hand up to ask a question in the group, let alone stand up and give a talk.
So, what was going on for me?
And more importantly, why didn’t I want to put my hand up?
I think at this stage in my life, and with the work that I have done on myself, that I am confident about the work that I do. I know I’m great at what I do and get great results. So, where did this all come from???
First thing was, I felt like a complete frump. The dress I was wearing was a bit grannyish. I wouldn’t mind, I knew this when I bought it! What did I think was going to happen?! It was suddenly going to transform itself into a wonderfully stylish outfit, and make me feel fantastic?!
Also, I was sitting with someone I knew, who is a lovely person, and she is such a good ad for what she does. She looked amazing in a really stunning eye catching outfit, lovely natural hair, and tall and elegant.
I, on the other hand, felt like the worst ad for what I do. My hair could have done with a bit of colour, not feeling very stylish, certainly not feeling tall and elegant.
But it wasn’t just about the other woman, it wasn’t about my dress; I think I felt that I didn’t belong there (did I think it was too much of a step up for me?).
This was my cue to do some tapping.
As is so often the case, the issue wasn’t the issue. It took me back to when I was a child and I was a little bit tubby to say the least, and someone was teasing me saying that I was fat. And because of my size and the teasing, I felt really awkward and out of place.
Fast forward a number of decades, and here I am still feeling the same thing.
So often, when I am working with people, they say to me, ‘I can’t believe that my 5 year old self is still running the show’. But, when we are triggered by something, it is sometimes not the event itself. It can go back to a much earlier event which we didn’t fully process at the time.
The emotions that I felt when I thought about this earlier time were sadness (about being teased and my size), disappointment and also anger at myself (for being overweight).
Anyway, after a couple of rounds of tapping, and working on each emotion separately, I cleared the feelings and came to a place of compassion, understanding and acceptance of myself. And also, feeling happy with who I was. Result!!
With EFT/Tapping, one of the key things is to test our results to see that we have fully cleared the issues. So, the acid test for me is that I have booked to go to this event again next month and I plan on making myself known, putting up my hand and getting myself noticed.
So, if you are feeling awkward and out of place in any situation and would like to start to feel confident and good about yourself in every situation, then get in touch with me and we can have a chat to see how you could go about this.
I know that many people have some extra vacation days at this time of year, so I hope that you get to enjoy your break.