Are You Suffering From FOMU?

I was listening to the radio the other day and I heard someone talking about FOMU – the fear of meeting up.

And there are lots of us who, while we welcome the thoughts of restrictions easing, it is tempered with a little bit of caution.

When you think about it, we have had the bejaysus scared out of us over the last year, telling us that it’s not safe, to be careful, keep our distance, wash our hands – so even though we may be vaccinated, we can’t just flick a switch and for things to go back to the way they were.

So here are my top tips for getting out there again:

1. Stay Safe

No matter what you are doing, your safety and wellbeing is the top priority.  Always make sure that whatever you decide to do, that you are keeping yourself safe, physically, emotionally and mentally.

2. Baby Steps

Maybe decide on one small step that you can take, and see how it feels to take that.  Remember, you don’t have to jump in feet first –  moshing at a gig with 50,000 others – take it slowly and build it up in small increments.

3. It’s Ok To Change Your Mind

You may be asked to do something and you jump at the chance initially.  Then the more you think about it, the more you are not so sure.

It is perfectly ok to change your mind.  If they really are friends of yours, they will understand.

4. Don’t Compare Yourself To Others

Different people are going to be at different stages, when it comes to getting back out there.

There have always been people who in marketing terms are what are called ‘early adopters’.  These people are always the first to adopt new technology, use new products etc.

Similarly, there will be people who will be early adopters in terms of getting out there again, meeting up with people etc.

Are you an early adopter or do you need to take more of a wait and see approach to see how things are going?  One size doesn’t fit all.

5. Recognise That Others May Not Be As Comfortable As You 

I had invited 2 older ladies in to see our new extension.

Weather permitting, the plan was to have coffee and cake in the garden.

One lady was happy to stay and have coffee but the other lady said she was a bit ‘iffy’ to use her own words – so we just had a chat, they had a quick goosy gander around – and that was it. You may have to adapt your plans to suit others.

6. Are You A Bit Rusty At Socialising?

In the last year or so, most of your socialising and interactions may have been online.  So, you may be a bit out of practice at socialising and it may feel a bit strange meeting someone in person.

You may also find that you have lost a bit of confidence in this area.  This is not unusual at all, and I know myself that I have found myself a bit awkward sometimes, and not as relaxed an confident as I would normally be.

Again, I would take small steps and meet up with people for a shorter time, so that you can get to exercise your socialising muscle and get the wheels oiled again.

And if you can, be honest with whoever you are meeting.  You never know, they may be feeling exactly the same.

7. Lots Of Emotion May Start To Come Up

For many people, they have been trundling along for the last year or so, and maybe haven’t found things too bad.  It may only be when things start to relax a bit, that all these feelings and emotions come up.

This is perfectly normal.  Especially for people who have been firefighting and just dealing with the here and now – they didn’t have time to feel anything.

The only time that people have the space to feel things is when they start getting out and about again.

Try and be present to whatever is coming up for you – allow yourself to feel it, name it and just to sit with it.  Eventually, it will pass through you.  Feeling emotions is normal and is what we are all designed to do.

If you feel that you have a Fear of Meeting Up, and would like to see how you could overcome this, please leave a comment below or contact me at and we can arrange to talk.

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